In the article, titled: “Blame game could ‘boomerang’ on Obama, strategist says“, found on CNN.com, I say blame me.
Yes, blame me, because in 1994, I caused Bill Clinton to open up an easy trade route with South East Asia; starting with Mexico (South America, I meant North America, for those who can’t tell the difference), India, and then China, for most of the American industrial companies to outsource their manufacturing activities to their regions, which would leave America manufactureless, thus causing many American jobs in the manufacturing sectors to ship overseas.
Blame Bush, and then blame me for causing to covet with Osama bin Laden to blow up American cities causing thousands of innocent people to die. And the ripple effect from the destruction would further cause the American economy to plunge, which would last for over a decade, just so that Bush could score political points for playing politics and administering the country through the politics of fear. Remember those elevated security threats at the airports almost every day?
Yes, blame me for wanting to elect a black guy, named Barrack Hussein Obama, who’s from no where as President of the United States. A young naive looking, good educated black guy, whose father is an African from Kenya, and whose mother is a poor white lady from Hawaii. Now, how American is that? And for that, you had to pay a great deal for it. Right when I knew that McCain and his silly and stupid co-colony, Sara Palin, were going to lose the presidential election, then I hit the housing market.
All those years, while the economy was flourishing, America went from deficit under Bush Sr., to realizing a full balanced budget and surplus under Bill Clinton, the actual first black president. However, behind the scene I was busy ballooning the mortgage loans; making them worthless. How silly is that for all those Americans who though they had supper great jobs in the mid 1990’s? So they went out and bought lots of stuff on debt; cars, houses, clothes, jewelry and accessories.
I could see them now; happy and all jolly because they had it all; PlayStation games and then Wii, and the Xbox, etc., yes, they had it all. That’s what they all though, huh, but what they didn’t know was that again, behind the scenes, I was busy climaxing the economy. Yes, it peaked toward the end of 1999. And when it peaks, well, what goes up must come down. But, Americans still didn’t know that the worst was just about to burst.
And that’s when I put Bush in the White House, huh. To make it even worse, even before I tickled Usama bin Laden to do his horrible things on US soil, Bush was already showing signs that he did know what a bejesus was doing, so, I got together with my Dick Cheney and the big Donald Rumsfeld and then we secretly coveted up that the best way to take the focus of off the Dumb Dumbya, was to cause the worst act of terrorism attack on the US soil.
Well, and then ever since, the market never really recovered. But there was something that was happening in Afghanistan though, the Opium market was skyrocketing while we were banging the big old Saddam Hussein, huh, who had nothing to do with our problems at home and what had happened with 9/11. And to topple that with a cherry cream pie, there was no WMD in Iraq, huh.
But, while that was going on, then I hit the US banks. All those little bank CEOs who thought their balance sheets were worth something, what they actually didn’t know, was that the economy peaked at the end of 1999, jobs were being sent overseas, people didn’t have any more money to pay their bills, and most of those mortgage loan applications were even fraud, faked by those greedy mortgage loan administrators and initiators, because they just wanted to meet the quota at all possible means.
Then all of a sudden, no one was paying the mortgage loans, huh, the rotten cheese hit the fan. And then right when the Lehman Brothers was going down, then I hit another one, AIG, yes, because, shhh quiet please, AIG provides insurance for nearly every American, in one way or the other. So, that was the best place to hit next. All of this, while Bush was still in the office.
And then, ohhhh, this is good. Obama though he’s clever. So Bush passed the stimulus rescue package first, and then Obama. Okay, that was good to help ease the market. Pump cash in the market, so it can kick start the economy again, but by then the economy has since hit the bejesus bottom. The Dow was once surpassing the 14000 point mark, on the way to touch down on the 15000. But today, as of July 3, 2010, the Dow closed yesterday at 9686.48 that’s 46.05 or -0.47% down from the previous day.
But I am not done yet, not even close. Right after Obama scored his biggest victory, passing and signing his signature Health care Overhaul, which could have guaranteed and led to his instant re-election, so I went in bed with BP and cooked up the sickest idea ever. BP’s Deepwater Horizon gut open, 5000 feet down below the ocean so it can gush more than 70,000 gallons of oil into the ocean, in order to kill nearly everything in the Gulf of Mexico.
But still, I am not done yet, in the Euro zone, I am busy destroying everything; from Greece to spain, a government actually went broke, huh. Why, because silly Greeks don’t like paying taxes. So there was no way the Greek government would have revenue to meet its Euro Monetary Union requirements
Now the entire Europe has a financial problem, with Germany threatening to return to its Deutsche Mark currency. But, who the bejesus architect the European Monetary Union without using the United States of American Monetary Union as an example? They didn’t think I was going to come in and destroy everything and make Angela Merkel look like a puny piece of cold cake?
But there was one clever tiny island, managed by a real old lady, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. Yes, she’s so clever, she stayed out of the Euro zone, keeping her pride and joy and her pound currency.
So, yes, blame Obama, not me. He’s the cause of all of these crazy things. Blame that young black dude for losing your job to Mexico, India, and China; even when the guy wasn’t in the office, yup, blame him.
Yes, blame him for Hurricane Katrina, and blame him for the BP Oil Spill, and blame him for the crash of the US financial market which let us to theeeee Greeeaat Recession. Yup, blame Obama, because it wasn’t me, it has to be Obama. Who else could it be? You want to say blame Clinton for enforcing for the passage of the NAFTA. You want to say blame Bush for hooking up with the bin Laden families and caused the 9/11 to happen?
Ohhh, you want to blame Obama your child being ugly and talentless. Well, you got the point there, so blame Obama for the BP Oil Spill. How about for the war in Iraq that cost the US tax payers more than $1 billion a day, and that was for how long again the war lasted?
And now, I am checking out Canada. What can I do to Canada? How about Africa, what can I do to Africa? Give them more diseases, civil wars, the butcheries of innocent people, women and children, ohhhhh; you want me to give them Malaria? And then the lack of clean water?
How stupid is that? Africans are so dumb, they don’t even know how to structure their economies, using their Godly given and richly endowed resources to better themselves. But, there are some who are smarter. And I can’t get to them. They have made themselves Presidents and Ministers, even some Ministers without portfolios, just because I want to suck tax payers’ money to pay for some schmuck Ministers without a portfolio so he could still gain his much deserved benefits.
Yes, don’t blame, me, nor Clinton, nor Bush, but Bush. Or while you are at it, you may as well blame Spike Lee for creating the movie, She Gotta Have It, because that movie turned a lot of women into some hot players today.
Don’t blame me; blame the dog that ate my freaking wallet, so I couldn’t pay my freaking bills on time. But, just don’t blame. Blame Obama, because of his pretty wife Michelle, oops, I am lusting on Michelle.
Simon Kapenda 